If you and your soon-to-be ex share kids, you will need to keep communicating, probably for years to come. As much as you both might like to never have to speak to each other again, a total communications shutdown is simply not viable when kids are involved.
Here are some tips that can help make co-parental communication easier post-divorce:
1. Plan when and how you will communicate
Spontaneous communication is fine if you both still get on well enough. However, if your relationship is strained, limiting communication to certain times and methods can help reduce the chance of emotional outbursts, or problems because one party brings up an issue when the other does not have the time to discuss the matter or is not prepared to best respond appropriately.
Some couples opt for email, some for text, and some for parenting apps. Others are happy to stick with a phone call or a face-to-face chat. There is no right or wrong, just choose what works for you. Remember that written communication has the advantage of being recorded though.
2. Keep it short and sweet
Keeping communications short and sweet is often best. It can prevent a conversation from drifting into difficult territory. Honing your words in advance can also reduce the opportunity for misinterpretation.
3. Be respectful
Being respectful toward each other also shows respect toward your kids. Children will soon feel uncomfortable if they have to listen to one parent talking badly about the other or watch their parents have a hollering match in front of teachers, classmates and other parents outside the school gates.
Despite following these tips, you may still find communication presents challenges. By sticking with these guidelines you lay the path for it to improve with time as the emotions of the divorce fade. Learning how to set some basic rules for communication in your parenting plan is a sensible first step.