When you and your spouse divorced, you may have assumed that the two of you would each vacation separately with your children in the future. However, shared family vacations after divorce aren’t as rare as they used to be.
Vacation rental companies let families stay in a beachfront or mountain home that will allow everyone to have their own space and not require more “togetherness” than is comfortable. Some divorced Alaska parents decide to continue going to their own vacation home together with their kids, whether it’s near Denali National Park or somewhere in the “lower 48.”
Certainly, a shared family vacation isn’t right for every family after divorce. However, for divorced spouses who have an amicable relationship, it can allow them to spend time in a favorite spot without the kids having “duplicate” vacations with each parent separately. It also lets them maximize their time with the kids. Sometimes, blended families get along well enough that new spouses and kids are included as well.
If you think this is something you’d like to try, it’s typically best to start small with a weekend trip to someplace you can drive. If that goes well, you might consider a longer getaway during the summer or over a school break.
Some planning is crucial
It’s important to set some ground rules and expectations before you go. This can prevent confusion and conflict that can ruin a vacation. For example:
- How will you divide the various expenses?
- What will the room/sleeping arrangements be?
- How will child care and other responsibilities (cooking, cleaning, etc.) be split?
- How will the vacation fit into the custody schedule?
It’s also wise to talk about whether you and your co-parent each want some time alone, time alone with your children and/or to see any particular sites or take any short excursions. The less you “wing it,” at least at first, the better.
It may even be smart to put something in writing, at least the first time or two you have a shared family vacation after divorce. If it’s something you plan to make a regular thing, at least until the kids no longer want to participate in family vacations, it may be wise to add a shared vacation section to your parenting plan. Getting some legal guidance can help you avoid unexpected pitfalls.